Aging with Benefits

I see myself as a couch potato. I don't exercise enough. My favorite activity in the daytime is reading and in the evening I watch TV.

But it seem as though everything I read in the newspaper or hear on the TV screams Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!

I am plagued with guilt.

So you can imagine my glee when Jane Brody, in her NY Times column, quoted a Dr. Jungwha Lee, “You don't need a gym membership to promote good health. Build movement into your daily routine. Don't park right next to the store. If your job involves prolonged sitting, set an alarm and stand up every twenty minutes. Use a remote printer. Take a lap around the floor after using the restroom. Go for a walk during lunch.” *

Hey! I’m not doing so badly after all. I am sure I am more fit than I was five years ago and I have been losing a little weight lately too.

After reading that article I figured out why. It’s memory loss.

Yes, memory loss has accelerated the amount of walking I do each and every day.

Think about my typical day. I walk around my apartment at least five times a day in search of my glasses. Then there is the time I put in going from closet to closet trying to remember where I hung my coat. I have to look for keys, gloves, and scarves not just in the closet but anywhere I might have deposited them when I used them last.

The timer I set to remind me something is on the stove repeatedly summons me to the kitchen.

And since I can’t remember recipes, I keep resetting the timer over and over. I must get up from the couch at least 15 times to check on a casserole baking.

My appliances are aging too and don't work as well as they used to. Take my oven. I can’t trust the temperature gauge any more and because I can’t see well enough to recalibrate it, I get more exercise getting up and down to check the temperature while I am baking.

When my TV remote broke, did I fix it? Of course not. I kept forgetting to get it repaired so I have to get up off my couch to change stations. See what I mean?

The old cold water tap in one bathroom is so hard to turn I use two bathrooms every day. One for hot water activities like washing my hands the other for drinking water and brushing my teeth. Coupled with the fact that I don't remember where I left my toothbrush, soap or towel, I get a lot of exercise roaming from bathroom to bathroom to locate things.

Then there is searching for pens and pencils. That takes miles of steps.

I am in shape before I ever get to the door to go out.

And all l had to do was grow old and lose my memory.

I think I’ll get a pedometer to scientifically track how many steps I take each day so

I can write a book and go on the “Dr. Oz” show to tout my new exercise routine: “You Can Get All the Exercise You Need Through Age Related Memory Loss.” I would make millions.

There are so many advantages to aging, I don’t why I didn't age sooner.

*Jane Brody, “Keep Moving to Stay Ahead of Arthritis,” New York Times, April 27, 2015.