Evelyn, looking elegant in a sleek new party dress, abandoned her hostess when she caught sight of her old friend, Paula, across the crowded room.
"Darling, where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages. What's this I hear about you and Jim traveling to Egypt?"
"Evelyn, I'm so happy to see you! Yes we just returned from a ten day tour of Egypt."
"Why on earth would you have gone there? Isn't it dangerous? But you two are such devil may cares, I guess you didn't give a second thought to safety."
"Us? Devil may cares? Actually..."
"You know Herbie and Francine Walters? They just returned from Egypt about a month ago. Such droll stories. It seems they were the only two people on their tour. Can you imagine?"
"Well, actually, we were the only ones on our tour too."
Evelyn forged on, "Not only were they the only two on their tour, they were the only Americans to be seen anywhere. There were lots of tour groups full of Frenchies and those awful unfriendly German types. You would think after all the havoc they've wreaked on the world they could at least be civil."
"Actually, we did meet Americans there."
"Were they wild and crazy like you?"
"Us? Wild and crazy? Actually..."
"Well I suppose you took one of those cruises down the Nile?"
"Actually it was a cruise up the Nile to it's source in the south."
"Hmm. Remember "Death on the Nile"? One of my absolute favorite movies. Dear Peter Ustinov, he was so much better than that new guy BBC has playing Poirot. Dead, you know."
"David Suchet?"
"No, no! Practically the entire cast of the movie except Angela Lansbury and she died in the movie. But you know her - she just carries on. Nearing 90 by now and still playing on Broadway. Have you seen her new show? It is just terrific!"
"No. We've been traveling. In Egypt. Actually when we visited the Temple of Karnak, we were reminded of that movie."
"Karnak! Johnnie Carson! Wasn't that a wonderful routine of his? I used to laugh myself silly."
"Actually it wasn't the same Karnak. I don't think Carson was playing an Egyptian."
"You mean he wasn't playing a Muslim. Did you meet any Muslims over there?"
"Well, yes, of course, Egypt is a Muslim country. Most people are Muslim. Our guide, for instance..."
"And how many wives did he have? I'll bet he lied when you asked him. They treat their wives like dirt."
"Actually, we didn't ask him. He did have grandchildren the same ages as ours. He suggested we bring some sand from the Sahara home for them."
"You took home sand? Isn't that illegal? I know all about sand. I'm a regular expert on sand. I've been up to my ears in sand. We rented a house in the Virgin Islands in February. They billed it as a beach cottage but what it should have been called was a sand trap. Sand, sand, sand - everywhere you looked, it was nothing but sand. You couldn't get rid of it. Sand in your shoes, in your food, in your hair - it was a sand nightmare. I've had enough sand to last a lifetime!"
"Actually, the Sahara is really beautiful."
"Beautiful? With all that sand? Let me tell you about sand."
"You did. You just did."
"I suppose you saw the pyramids and rode a camel and all that...Oh look! There's Richard, that's our signal. He does that little hand flap when someone is boring him and he wants to go home."
"Interesting."
"Well it's been soooo much fun hearing all about your travels. We must get together soon for lunch. Yes, Richie, I'm coming!"
"Actually..."
Apologies to Dorothy Parker
