Driving

A friend of mine, in fact two friends, have told me that I drive like a man. Each of them said the same thing. I am apparently a road jock, who drives aggressively and refuses to ask for directions.

Frankly I am thrilled. I have never been accused of being aggressive before. I kind of like it.

And as to driving like a man, what exactly does that mean? Is that good? Or does it just mean being comfortable behind a wheel?

“It must be because you are from the Midwest where everyone starts driving at the age of three,” my friends suggest. “And what’s with this driving a stick shift car? Here in New York we women don't learn to drive until we are at least 40. And who drives stick these days?”

“Oh yes I started driving as soon as I could see over the steering wheel,” I tell them.

“When Daddy picked me up after school in his truck, he would let me operate the big gearshift on the floor while he did the clutch part. He taught me to listen to the sound of the engine to tell me when to shift to next gear. It’s really easy once you get the hang of it.

“But I never drove a car by myself until was at least 12. I drove up and down our street, just to get the feel for it. There were no cars parked on the street, it was safe.”

“Sure, sure,” they say, and shake their heads knowingly.

I didn't tell them that I had to take the driving test over and over because I just couldn't seem to learn to parallel park. It took a move to NYC to teach me.  At first I would drive around and around until I found a spot I could nose into. After a few months of that, desperation taught me to parallel park

As far as not asking directions, I don't seek directions because I have never been able to remember what I was told. Go 5 or 6 blocks and turn right at the light, look for the blue house or was it a red house, then four more blocks where you’ll see a gas station, or was it a post office?

I bought lots of maps to help me get around.

New Jersey is especially difficult. Entering NJ from the George Washington Bridge, you are faced with dozens of routes, Palisades Parkway, Routes 1, 4, 9, 17, 46, 80, 95 and the NJ Turnpike. The exit lanes seem to change from left to right without any warning. It’s very easy to mess up and not have a clue about how to remedy the situation. And when I do give in and ask directions, I don't remember what I was told. My only salvation is to see a mall. I can always figure out my way to and from a major department store.

Queens is difficult for the opposite reason: On maps, the highways are listed by number but when you are actually driving on them there isn’t a route number in sight. Just the names and they all sound alike: LIE, Grand Central Parkway, Belt Parkway, Van Wyck, Jackie Robinson. The exits make it easy to turn around and go back. But if you do get on the wrong road there is a traffic jam and it takes forever to reach that nice exit.

I have gotten quite good at changing lanes, u-turns, and abrupt exits.

As for driving in the city, it really isn’t that bad as long as you accept that every other vehicle is going to try to occupy your space and it’s your job to prevent them. If you get stuck behind a parked car and wait for someone to let you into the open lane you will wait forever. Is that aggression or desperation?

And by the way, I have become quite good at parking. I can get into any spot as long as it’s big enough to hold my car. Doormen have been known to applaud.

Whenever I am down on myself, I just remember that I am a girl from Dayton Ohio who can drive in NYC. Not a jock, just someone desperate enough to learn.

Maybe I should buy a GPS though.