Marshmallow

The doctor who developed the famous Marshmallow Experiment has died.

I am sorry for his loss, but all I could really think about was how much that experiment has bothered me. 

The test involved offering a four or five year child old a single marshmallow immediately or with the caveat that if he or she could put off eating it for 15 minutes or so, he or she would get a second marshmallow. 

I have long accepted that I would have failed that test. It reveals whether or not a child has self-discipline and predicts success in life.

Now I don't think I am a failure in life, but I know that I have never been one to delay gratification.

The nuns in my grade school were really into delayed gratification.  They tried their best to get me to give up goodies, to “offer it up to God” as they put it.

“Don't eat that cookie. Offer it up to God.” I wasn't good at that. I didn't think God would want my cookie and it would just lie there in the box, so why give it up?

And Lent? Giving up things like candy and television for six weeks was really difficult. I would sulk when my mother suggested I eat something healthy as a snack. “Just have a glass of milk if you’re hungry,” she would say. Who wants a glass of milk without Oreos to dunk in it?

I always seemed to be hungry after school. After all, hadn’t I spent the entire day giving things up for God? The recess snack store wasn't open during Lent and I gave most of my allowance to the Bishops Relief Fund instead. A few descriptions of starving babies and I gladly gave them my money. I was fine with it until I opened my lunch box to a peanut butter sandwich and an apple. Not a cookie in sight.

And thus I failed miserably at giving things up. I began to see myself as selfish and entirely lacking discipline. Or to put it plainly: a weakling.

But here is the part I have always wondered about. The famous test involved marshmallows and I never liked marshmallows.

Marshmallows weren’t worth eating as far as I was concerned. They were overly sweet and stuck to your teeth and made them hurt. They had a slightly chalky outer layer so unless they were toasted or floating on top of hot chocolate I considered them yucky.

I may have been a weakling where goodies were concerned, but I was a weakling with taste.

So I would have passed the marshmallow test with flying colors. One now or two later doesn't mean much if you don't like what is being offered. I am sure I would have said “OK, I’ll wait.” Just because it seemed like what I was supposed to do. I mean it was obvious that I should wait.

So here’s the real issue: if I had passed the test, would I have been identified as a child with self-discipline? Would I have believed it?  Would I have seen myself differently? Would I have given things up with ease during Lent? Would I have been a favorite of the nuns? "Look at Paula. She is always giving things up for God.”

Maybe I wouldn't have come home from school every afternoon with plans to make popcorn and fudge. Maybe I would have done my homework instead of watching Gunsmoke? Saved my allowance instead of spending it on goodies?

Would I have stuck with diets? Exercised every day?

Maybe I would have become ambitious.

Would I now be a slimmer person?

 Or maybe even rich?

Of course, if they offered me a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup…