One of the advantages of
youth is the ability to open childproof containers.
I have never met a kid who
couldn’t. I just spent five minutes trying to open a simple plastic card of AAA
batteries. It even had an ‘open here’ place. But I knew better.
If possible I don't step up
to the opening of any container without a kid within
pleading range. Frequently grandchildren will look up from Minecraft to respond
to grandparently distress signals. Especially if accompanied by their favorite
brownies.
Without them I have to use
scissors or screwdrivers. I don't dare put what’s left of my teeth in peril
just to open a parcel. USPS delivers only packages bound with that tape that
has steel threads running through it. Sometimes even a pair of scissors isn’t
strong enough.
Soup cans have only one end that
accepts a simple can opener. The other one is rounded and impenetrable. Or has an
easy to use pop-top thing. Sure.
Opening seltzer bottles requires
herculean strength in my opinion and by the time I do get one opened, I have
forgotten that seltzer fizzes all over the place while I am yelling “I got you
open you wretched excuse for a bottle…” by that time I am soaked.
I could go on with a litany
of impossible jars, medicine containers, tea packets and even ketchup bottles,
which have been made impervious to blood, sweat and tears. Is this in the name
of safety? I wonder if those manufacturers are all childless. Don't they know
how marvelously clever and nimble young fingers are?
Are they so afraid of hearing
that “Oh grandma, here let me do it” that they have never tried these gizmos
out on a panel of expert ten year olds?
On the other hand, if these
things really were childproof, everyone would be starving, unmedicated and
thirsty. Better they don't know.
So far I have not dealt with
the importance of grandchildren in the electronic age. This need for assistance
with one’s computer has come to outrank the need for help in opening things.
There is a commercial running
on TV now, showing a pair of grandchildren being greeted not by grandparently
kisses, but by a pile of dead electronics. In my opinion, the grandparents
aren’t properly grateful. I mean we don't want to alienate our little saviors.
Computers are getting more
and more complicated in the name of identity theft. Soon even children won’t be
able to open them.
Electronics will be so hacker
proof that only the hackers will be able to get into them. I wonder how old
those guys are? And if they like chocolate chip cookies.
You hit a chord here- I have no doubt this is true.
ReplyDeleteAmong the masses of adult zombies walking around glued to their phones exist a cadre of pre-pubescent hackers waiting to take over the world(s).
Marilyn
Yep, and how about those little packs of peanuts they give us on airplanes?
ReplyDelete