Don't ask me why, but I started to think about spoons very
early this morning, 4:30 AM to be more accurate.
I woke up worrying about nothing and tried to change the
subject. Nothing worked until I said to myself, “ Write something, stop dithering
about nothing." I didn’t say it out loud but I did listen to myself and
searched for a topic and somehow I came up with spoons.
I thought about those spoons J. Alfred Prufrock used to
measure out his life. Were they his good spoons or the ones he used for
everyday. I just know J. Alfred had more than one set of tableware. Probably those
spoons belonged to a grand hostess and they were much nicer than the ones he
had at home.
And what about the dish who ran away with a spoon? What did
they see in each other? Which was the
guy and which was the girl? Did they break the hearts of a happy place setting
when they ran off? Or they could have been gay. Was there a lesson in tolerance
here? Why should cutlery only intermarry with cutlery? And dishes stick with
cups ands saucers?
There is something about spoons I’ve always liked. I like the feel of their shiny round bowls.
They stack nicely in drawers. Knives and forks slip and slide, spoons nestle
inside each other. They are the contented cutlery.
Spoons are benign, not at all fierce like forks or knives.
As far as I know there has never been a murder by spoon. I base this assumption
on my acquaintance with English mysteries where, god knows, almost everything
else has been tried.
Spoons are really good at what they do. We couldn't stir our
sauces or eat our cereal without them. I suppose we should be grateful to the
ancients who invented them. I bet they were invented before forks, I mean forks
you could do without. You could grab a hunk of meat or a handful of millet and
just chew away. But what about soup or stew?
I think the invention of spoons had to be coincidental with
the first pots and consequently soup. A civilizing impulse. A branch would do
nicely for stirring, but how do you eat soup? Some smarty probably hollowed out
the end of a thick piece of wood and invented the spoon. And then bragged about
it and made spoons the latest thing. No Neanderthal hostess would have dared
entertained without them.
I also started to count how many different kinds of spoons I
have around the house. There are teaspoons, soup spoons, coffee spoons,
measuring spoons and a whole variety of sizes for serving including the slotted
kind. Then there is the array of spoons for cooking from wooden to stainless
steel to plastic. And ladles. What would we do without ladles? Ladles are the
sloppy cooks salvation,
I have always liked the quaint term spooning. Cuddling as it
were. A nice way to have your lover draped around you like a spoon.
I remember the saying “He’s so cute I could eat him with a
spoon.” So do I need to say it wasn't meant pruriently? It was an appreciative term also applied to
chubby babies that I guess just wouldn't sound right nowadays.
There is a rock band named Spoon, in case you are
interested. I can’t work up any great enthusiasm.
Fancy spoons said a lot about people then, the fancier the
spoon the more money you had.
Sets of Apostle spoons used to be common wedding gifts. Why
the apostles? Were other types of cutlery given separately? Knives maybe, but
never forks.
Who knows? But a silver spoon was and still is a very
popular gift for new babies. Might the intention have been to make up for the silver spoon this particular
baby wasn’t fortunate enough to have in its mouth at birth?
Then there are spoonerisms. This got me out of bed to look
up. A spoonerism is a scrambling of letters like Search every crook and nanny.
Or I’ll be an unkies muncle. A favorite was the introduction on Inauguration
Day of the new president as Hoober Heever. Maybe this jinxed him.
I also found an article titled “What your spoon say about
you” from the book Consider the Fork. My
assumption that spoons came before forks was all wrong. Apparently they were
first used 18th century. Kind of late in my opinion.
Then there are the spoons of my childhood. I was enchanted
with my grandmother’s tea service, which included a set of salt cellars each
one equipped with its own miniature spoon. I thought they were meant just for
me.
Every summer my grandparents would take the car out of the
garage, scrub it down and turn it into a playhouse for the grandchildren. We
had a bedroom area where our dolls beds went. We had a set of bunk beds and a
bassinet. There were tables and chairs.
No living room though. The kitchen area consisted of a very old miniature iron
coal stove. I think it was a salesman’s model although how a salesman could
have lugged this thing around is beyond me.
Anyway once or twice a summer Grandpa would put some hot
coals in it so we could cook in the little cast iron pots and pans. We had doll-sized dishes to serve whatever we
made but the prize was a tiny set of cutlery I still have. My grandsons aren’t
interested but I still keep that fancy fake set in its own plastic imitation
silver chest.
The wooden spoon played a part in my growing up: it was the
weapon of choice in the parental battle for decorum. When my cousins and I got
out of hand running around the house threatening destruction my grandmother
would come out of the kitchen yelling “If you don't quiet down I’ll get the
wooden spoon.” It usually worked, my grandmother being the no nonsense person
she was. I don't remember that that wooden spoon was ever used though. When Mama brandished the wooden spoon we just
laughed.
If J. Alfred measured out his life in teaspoons let me get
out my measuring spoons and choose at least the tablespoon or better the ladle
for my own. I say eat life in great gulps of appreciation or in tiny coffee
spoon of deliciousness.
